Awwwwwww!

How do you call the temporary state where you're unable to write anything at all? Writeless? Well, if there were such a word, then I guess it would be correct to use it to describe my current state of being.

I feel like I'm on the top of the world; somehow, I jumped and reached the stars. What's an acheivement here is that I didn't fall back to earth. Newton must've been wrong somewhere I guess. Yes, boys and girls! I'm with Kaleal, and our relationship is moving towards a trend of stability and security. I was trying to count the number of times we kissed, but I think I got an overflow somewhere. Anyway, who cares?

For the first time in my existence, I'm running my life outside of a try-catch block. I feel we're going to be safe together, and I'll do everything for her to be safe with me. That's all I have to write - the rest - I'll live it.

Life Goes On

There are some things that are currently impossible for me to write about. The pain is still fresh - I can feel it, right now, at this very moment. I don't know if I'm ever going to write about it. However, it's still good to feel pain - it reminds you that you're alive, and that you have a heart.

I guess... that life goes on.

Second Chapter

Here ends the first chapter of my life. A love letter, accompanied by a hug ended it all. I just can't wait to discover what comes up next. I wonder who are the new characters in the second chapter, and I wonder with whom I'll finally end up with.

I could really feel it yesterday. Something in me was telling me that everything had suddenly changed. I went to sleep with something inside of me - something I didn't have when I woke up. She read my letter, but had absolutely no reaction. Maybe it's better this way...

Aishteru

Hell, I should've acted faster. It had started to rain heavily, and I was kinda regretting being dressed up so elaboratedly. Even if the both of them were totally soaked, she was absolutely gorgeous. Yes, it was the day I was going to ask her out. I could feel my heart beating faster than normal, and on that cloudy day, everything seemed brighter than normal.

She was so beautiful. I just couldnt' get my eyes off from her. I just can't stop staring at her, and each and every one of her words sounds like the sweetest melody to me. She often scolds me, and tells me that I'm not paying attention. Well, that's because I just can't keep my mind off from her...

On that particular rainy day, I could literally feel my heart break into millions of little pieces. Her sister had just informed me that she was going out with someone, and part of my world suddenly crumbled. It was awful. I felt so bad. So bad. The rain suddenly had a meaning, and the reality of this sad little world started to transpire into my soul.

I should've done it a week earlier. Dammit.

I wish...

I am finally shedding the last bits and pieces of the artificial me. Like a plastic skin which cracked and has suffered weakened bonds with its neighbouring friends, the layers of hate, envy and prejudice are disappearing, one after the other.

I'm no more the old me. I'm the one I was supposed to be, years and years ago. The undissolveable patterns of misery have had their toll: my own character. I want to change, because I have seen the outer layers of me. I want to forget absolutely everything, and re-learn the world from a new and unbiased point of view.

A few days ago, I started regretting being who I was. The regrets came with a lot of bitter tears and half-swallowed outbursts of sadness. I wished I had never met Natasha, I wished I looked different, I wished I wasn't me - I just wanted to be somebody else, at some other place, living another life.

The girl I like is going out with somebody else. There ain't a thing I can do, and for this once, I will accept my usual fate and keep on surviving.