Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Replacement for children therapy.

 "Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm feeling emotional and sh•t!"

The bespectacled man, Doctor Haider, took a moment to push his horn-rimmed glasses up his nose. These were certainly common symptoms in men going through hormone therapy. 

In other words: people looking to change their gender.

"Are you currently on hormones...", the doctor paused as he looked at the patient's file. "Mr. Rajiv", the doctor said.

"I don't take any of that! This ain't natural doc. I'm a strong guy - emotionally I mean."

Someone knocked on the door. It was one of the helpers who had brought the latest order which had just been delivered. That was enough for Rajiv to catch a mother, playing with her new-born. The innocent child - it couldn't have been more than a few months old, was the innocence incarnate. This innocuous scene turned the water-works on and it was once again a sensitive Rajiv crying profusely.

Dr Haider had a sudden stroke of genius.

- "Do you have children, Mr Rajiv?"

- "No Doctor."

- "And what about your immediate family?"

- "A few nephews and neices, why Doctor?"

The doctor ignored Haider's question altogether.

- And how old are they?"

- "They are teens. Except for the eldest, she's already in college abroad."

The doctor nodded. That was it.

- "I presume you don't have pets?"

- "No I don't doc. Why?"

The doctor once again ignored Rajiv's question.

- "Do you feel more comfortable with dogs or cats, Mr Rajiv?"

Rajiv did not hesitate for a second.

- "Dogs, doctor."

Rajiv almost inquired about the reason for this but stopped himself, knowing how futile such an attempt would be.

- "Well Mr Rajiv, I recommend that you adopt a dog, of the breed that you prefer. It however needs to be young. As young as you can handle."

And with that, Haider signed the ordinance. Certainly one of the weirdest ones he had ever produced.

- "The pet store will sort you out," said Dr Haider, as he handed the paper to a quizzical Rajiv. 

"It'll be Rs 350", concluded Haider.

Sunday, December 11, 2022

My Brother from Another Mother

 A picture from 8 years ago suddenly changed everything. No, no - nothing actually changed to be honest. It just shone the light of clarity over the present. It provided me with a truth that was beckoning to be discovered. To be understood.

I know now, that the amazing human being whom I call my best friend is not just another guy I am connected to. There is no genetic proof of this, but in my heart I know: this man is my brother.

Monday, October 03, 2022

A Lost Kitten

 What biological function does crying serve?

Asked Arthur C. Clarke, in his book, "Songs from distant Earth". I pondered over that question. Yes, what biological function did crying really serve?

Fortunately, more than a decade later, to me this is a no-brainer question. Tears are intentionally salty because it helps remove physical and energetic impurities.

I had not cried in years and years, until a few days ago. It was like a river, gushing amidst the emotional residues.

One wrench thrown into my plans and the whole machinery came to a grinding halt. I did cry a second time on that day, but I somehow picked myself up.

I was crying for someone I never met. I know: big surprise, heh! But it is true.

I just wanted to post an update, since I haven't done so in a while now. Once I fully recover, I promise I will write and post pictures. This is a rather abrupt end to my post and I am sorry about that.

Friday, September 02, 2022

Guru ji 🙏

How could you do anything other than love your Guru?

Certainly, I love and appreciate all aspects of Guru ji.

And those feelings have long escaped the bounds of physicality.

Thus I am no longer moved by the calm yet melodious sound of her voice.

And I am able to fully reflect upon the topic at hand.

I never thought this love could be expanded by branching,

And yet, here I am, pondering over why Guru-ji's son is the way he is.

A young boy, unadulterated by conflicting concepts.

Blissfully unaware of reality as we see it through the lenses of grown ups.

I certainly love you Guru ji, and I am blessed to have been put in the path of your son, Anandrai.

I can't be an uncle to this lovely boy Guru ji, but his elder brother 😹

Sat Sri Akal Guru Ji 🙏❤️

Monday, August 29, 2022

9c3ce5341c659b4694e658b07180e439 (MD5)

 I had long stopped my fantasies about a meeting with you, at random, that would (naturally) culminate into a passionate embrace and you finally realising that we were supposed to be together.

I did not gracefully glide through life - quite the opposite, but this post has nothing to do with the current state of my life - because my heart can now experience relative peace.

Yet, from the depths of my conscious mind, I detected waves of sadness, coloured with the bittersweet after-effects of true love that was grossly trampled upon by the deafening silence of indifference.

I certainly never hated you, I still cannot. But this existence, lived without you, extinguished a love that should have been uniquely yours. It was complete and absolute faithfulness and maniacal devotion that I could not myself comprehend - and that until now eludes me.

It started when I was 15. Remember, 9c3ce5341c659b4694e658b07180e439 (MD5)?

Why was I born with such a firmware imprinted into my heart's circuit board? Was I karmically destined to suffer this way?

I fantasize about a random meeting with you, 9c3ce5341c659b4694e658b07180e439 (MD5), and I would, through a hug, transmit this love turned sour that I once had for you. Or at least, I wish.

Writing you this is by no means, cathartic. This message is just here to express the greatest pain that the unfortunate lover that I was experienced.

I don't care if you are happy or broken. You have chosen the life that you are living, and the further we disconnect from each other, the less likely it will be that we will ever meet.

But I did respect your last wish though. I never contacted you again. Through random events, I came to know that you adopted Buddhism and that's lovely, since I too adopted Buddhism and turned vegan.

I wish you nothing, 9c3ce5341c659b4694e658b07180e439 (MD5), other than to experience the same heartbreaks I felt.

I did, at some point, stop feeling anything at all for you, dear stranger.