Okay.
Time for a massive update. And enhanced expressiveness through emojis. Like my favourite one: the facepalm.
I'm dying to augment this text right here and right now with this glorious non-textual and illegitimate literary tool - but I guess I should save it for later.
And God knows I am going to need this.
Where do I begin? Relationships? 😂 My life is punctuated through relationships. Or failed attempts at initiating a relationship.
That happened to me very recently, by the way. I was virtually in the company of a lady 11 years younger than I (meaning: we physically interacted and all but mostly exchanged messages online). I had been dropping hints of my interest that had mutated my once platonic friendship into a hot steamy pile of awkwardness - but I got my answer in a very clear and heart sinking way.
What possibly save the little dignity I had left was our friendship and her good and playful nature. She's such an awesome gal and I am lucky to have her as a friend.
(That, right there, is life's equivalent of a participation medal that I just awarded myself. You go, Rowan!)
The actual news that my blog post should focus on is quite stark and heavy in comparison to the previous paragraphs I authored.
In February 2020, I had a stroke that wiped out a significant portion of my intellectual abilities and rendered half of my body useless. My brain was so messed up that I could not remember my name.
My own name! I could not, no matter how much I tried, remember my own name!
🤦🏽♂️
The very next day, my mum had contacted the Pranic Healing association of Malaysia - place where I had discovered this wonderful and life-saving art.
Within a day of me receiving help from my healer mates, I remembered my name.
However, I was still intellectually and physically disabled.
I think the one who took it the hardest was my mum.
My mum has been my support throughout this ordeal and my crying cycles might have been so much more intense had she not been with me. She is probably the worst cook, the worst at getting me dressed, and constantly making false statements ("Oh, your laptop? You were screaming and told me to throw it away. Oh your tennis shoes? You were screaming and told me to throw it away.)
But she's made sure I was kept alive and relatively well fed and medicated - and for that, kudos mum.
Life in the meanwhile has inevitably moved on. One of my closest cousins, Yog, is getting married.
I have to be honest here: I do feel like I missed my train stop. I do feel some sort of panic, deep within me - that I missed my train altogether. I have come to various falsely reassuring conclusions on this topic, but none would last for long and I would inevitably start feeling the pulsating panic slowly creeping in.
I know that I should instead focus on my getting better. I know that.
I don't think that I'll be providing regular updates. I can't promise that. But I will do my best to. I do intend to pick up blogging - activity that I have grossly neglected over the years.
Before penning off, I would like to share something. For some reason, I received a friend request from a total stranger today - a total female stranger, looking to be Mauritian by all means and flaunting generous assets.
But she had a photo of herself chugging beer and a rather devilish looking tattoo.
I chuckled as I denied the request. People change.
And with this, allow me to pen off here and give you all my warmest and most loving blessings: 🙏
For once, for this once, to mark my re-entrance to the blogging world, allow me to pen off and take the name of the Deity I am most closely and lovingly connected to: 🕉 Lord Shiva 🙏
